Alcohol and Intimacy

Facts about mixing Alcohol with Intimacy (

Here are some stone-cold sobering statistics about the college sex-and-alcohol cocktail:

  • As many as 70% of college students admit to having engaged in sexual activity primarily as a result of being under the influence of alcohol, or to having sex they wouldn't have had if they had been sober.
  • 90% of all campus rapes occur when alcohol has been used by either the assailant or the victim.
  • At least one out of five college students abandons safe sex practices when they're drunk, even if they do protect themselves when they're sober.
  • One in twelve college males admit to having committed acts that meet the legal definition of rape or acquaintance rape.
  • 55% of female students and 75% of male students involved in acquaintance rape admit to having been drinking or using drugs when the incident occurred.
  • 60% of college women who are infected with STDs, including genital herpes and AIDS, report that they were under the influence of alcohol at the time they had intercourse with the infected person.

How to say no to intimacy…

The following tips can be used whether the person who's crossing the line is drunk or not. But before you start drinking, ingrain them in your memory so you can put them into action if you need to. Keep in mind that sometimes, no matter what you do, you cannot avoid an assault.

  • DO say, "No!" Say it with certainty. Let there be no doubt in the person's mind that you have no intention of having sex with him or her.
  • Don’t smile or worry about being friendly or polite. Your own physical safety is your main concern, not whether you hurt this Person's feelings. After all, You're being pressured--it's already obvious that he or she doesn't care about your feelings.
  • Do use the word "rape." Saying something like," You know you'll be raping me if you get your way, don't you?" may give the drunk person a sobering wake-up call and stop them in their tracks.
  • Don’t hesitate to lie to get out of a situation. If you're in a room together but you'd like this person to leave, tell him or her you have an STD or that your roommate is going to be home any minute.
  • Do act quickly.

Assess the situation.

  • Are there people around to help you? If so, get someone's attention by making eye contact to let him or her know you're in trouble.
  • If no one is around, but you think you might be heard if you screamed, then go ahead and yell, "Fire!" People are more likely to respond to this alarm than if you were to yell for help, because people don't like to get involved in what they perceive to be a lover's quarrel.
  • If you are in a deserted area, try to determine an escape route. Distract your assailant by looking off in the opposite direction, as though you hear someone approaching. Since the person is drunk, this tactic should buy you a few moments to make a run for it.