Top Five Tips For Single Women On Valentine's Day

February 15, 2012

by Patricia Leavy
The Cypress Times

Valentine's Day can feel more like D-Day for single women. This Hallmark-holiday pushes coupledom in our faces and turns our world into a pink and red advertisement for romance. When you're single sometimes all of the cupid's arrows feel more like daggers.

To get through it, those who are presently unattached may throw themselves a pity party. Parties have themes, even pity parties. One version of this is to crawl into bed until the day passes. A more dangerous pitfall is to start romanticizing a relationship past-mentally digging up the buried remains of a relationship that is over, and probably for a good reason. This Valentine's Day avoid the pitfalls of low-fat love, don't dream of settling for less and pretending it's more, and don't try to cope by avoiding life. You're not alone, you're with yourself so make the most of it. To begin with, buy yourself a bouquet of your favorite flowers-you deserve something beautiful in your home. Then, have a fun night. Here are my top tips for enjoying Valentine's Day with friends or on your own.

Have a girlfriend get-together at your place. If you're with your friends I recommend staying in-restaurants and bars will look like Bubble Gum exploded everywhere-a self-esteem no-no for singles, especially romantics. Avoid the paper cupids and kissing couples, grab your girlfriends and stay in.

Invite a mixed group of friends for an intimate party. If you invite your married friends, gay friends, and other single female friends then you will be de-stigmatizing singledom and focusing on the love that is in your life.

Whether with other single gals or a more diverse group you can host a finger food party. Have each guest bring an appetizer and a bite-size dessert. These fun foods can be passed around all night or set up on a buffet. You can munch throughout the evening as you talk, drink and laugh. This will be less work than serving a traditional dinner and a lot more fun.

Another option: Have a classic movie marathon. Pick up a set of classic mysteries (like Hitchcock) or have a horror film festival. Avoid anything sappy, like dramas and romantic comedies. Pop a few batches of popcorn (you can add fun flavors to them to make it more festive) and ask each of your friends to bring a bag of their favorite fun-size candies/ chocolates. Create a little movie buffet, sit down and have some fun. (Incidentally, this movie night can just as easily be adapted for one. Don't skimp on yourself-do up the popcorn and candy and see some of the movies that have always been on your "list.")

If you decide to stick it out on your own, try pampering yourself with a make your own spa night. Stop at your local beauty supply store and splurge on some relaxing spa treatments: bubble bath, a body exfoliator, a face mask and some luxurious lotion. Follow-up with a do-it-yourself manicure and pedicure in a cheerful color that embraces the day.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Patricia Leavy, PhD is an acclaimed pop-feminist author and expert commentator with a dozen books to her credit. She is the author of the new book, Low-Fat Love and host of the weekly internet radio show Low-Fat Love 101 on PWRTalk radio. Please visit www.patricialeavy.com.

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