FAQ: A Guide for Parents
When should I get involved with problems at school?
What about roommate problems?
What if my child wants to drop out of school?
What if my child has difficulty making decisions?
What if my child feels he/she doesn't belong?
What if my child is homesick?
1. When should I get involved with my son/daughter's problems at college?
Involvement becomes most important when you are concerned about the health or safety of your son/daughter. Other related concerns pertaining to your son/daughter may include:
- Extreme personality or mood changes Inability or unwillingness to seek out campus resources
- Withdrawal from key aspects of the college experience (e.g., academics, athletics, social relationships)
- Expressions of concern from roommates, friends, faculty, or college administrators about your son/daughter
- Substance use or abuse (e.g., binge drinking, underage drinking, illicit drug use)
- Other high-risk behaviors (e.g., problematic gambling, reckless driving)
2. How can I help my son/daughter who is experiencing roommate problems?
- Encourage open and direct communication.
- Encourage examination of his/her role in the conflict.
- Assure your son/daughter that differences will arise that are typical for a healthy adjustment to college.
- Emphasize direct communication between your son/daughter and his/her roommate without involving other peers in the conflict.
- If conflict continues encourage your son/daughter to seek out assistance from his/her RA or RD.
3. What if my child wants to drop out of college?
- Listen to your son/daughter's needs.
- Encourage utilization of resources on campus, e.g., Academic Services, Counseling and Testing Center, Residence Life Staff, Faculty Advisor, Campus Ministry.
- Encourage your son/daughter to talk with someone who has had a similar experience, e.g., team captain, older sibling, older student, RA.
4. What if my son/daughter has difficulty making decisions?
- Listen and normalize how difficult important life decisions can be.
- Suggest consultation with relatable campus resources, e.g., Academic Services, Career Services, Faculty Advisor, Campus Ministry, Counseling and Testing Center.
- Encourage son/daughter to request to have their Strong Interest Inventory and or Myers-Briggs interpreted.
- Encourage self-exploration through self-help groups offered on campus.
5. What if my son/daughter doesn't feel connected at college?
- Suggest that your son/daughter engage in campus activities to meet a variety of people. Refer him/her to the Student Activities web site.
- Propose that he/she evaluate his/her own areas of interest and decide how he/she could share those interests with others.
- Encourage him/her to seek out opportunities for a mentor, such as a faculty member, team captain, coach, student leader.
- If difficulty persists encourage him/her to seek counseling.
6. What if my child is homesick?
- As a parent recognize your own feeling about your son/daughter's transition to college.
- Listen to your son/daughter's struggles with adjusting to college life.
- Send items from home such as photos, care packages, or mementos from home.
- Keep in touch through a moderate amount of emails, phone contacts, IMs, and visits to campus.
- Encourage your son/daughter to stay on campus for the first few weekends so he/she can foster new relationships.
- Decide on a date for your son/daughter to come home for a visit.